I do not own TDI.
INSANITY AHEAD. READ WITH CAUTION. By the way, the dock of shame is a
little different here then on the show. In this version, if you fall
off the dock, you cant swim to shore and theres no ladder. So
you better hope that someone will help you up, or youd have to be
a really good swimmer.
shouted to the camera, Since the last season of TDI went so well,
the producers decided to pick new campers to continue the tradition
of chaos, drama, and insanity. But, unfortunately budget cuts have
forced us to reduce the number of campers to only 14. So, I now
present the first ever episode of Total Drama Island season
Ect theme song
Chris stood on the
dock, fixing his hair. He didnt even notice the camera man until
he heard, Um, Mr. McClain, were rolling Chris spun around
and smiled nervously, stuffing his hair gel and comb into his pocket.
Luckily, his error went unnoticed, as the boat came up to the dock.
An Asian girl with long black hair and brown eyes hopped onto the
right? Chris started to answer, but she cut him off, waiving to
the camera, Im Lilianna-Rosalie Rigby and Id like to send a
shout out to my mom, and my dad, and Grandma Mimi, and Uncle Joe
and my great aunt
twice removeds goldfish-
Lilly, shut up!
muttered under her breath.
Just then, the boat
Get off! Chefs
voice could be heard from inside.
A guys voice
answered Just one more minute, Im almost finished with this
level. I just have to defeat the Evil Lord Zorgon. There was a
crash and a red game-boy flew out the boats window.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! a tall 16 year old jumped off the boat
and ran to his precious video game, cradling the broken pieces in his
arms. You were so young, so full of life.
Chris rolled his eyes
dramatically, I take it youre Leslie.
Leslie looked up at
Chris from his position kneeling on the dock, Call me Lez,
Lilianna smiled and
walked over to him, Hey, Im Lilly. Lez just nodded absently,
not paying any attention to a word she was saying. He started
attempting to fix it and murmured some gibberish about the cords not
fitting together right, not even noticing when a very ticked off
brunette stepped off the boat.
I still dont know
why I couldnt have just driven it here myself. She said to
This is an island,
Teresa. You cant drive on water. He answered.
Teresa shrugged, I
have my ways. But still, that guy thats bringing my baby in looked
a little shady. If he gets one scratch on it, Ill sue. When
Teresa looked away, Chris held up some paperwork and mouthed to the
camera no she wont!
Wait a minute,
Lilly interjected, Youre bringing a baby to TDI?
Teresa stared at her
for a moment then realized what the confusion was, No, of course
not! I meant my car. I brought it with me; its being delivered
later. See? Teresa pulled out a picture and showed it to Lilly.
Nice paint job,
Lilly commented. Teresa explained about all the benefits of the car
for a moment until she finally saw Lez, still trying to fix his
game-boy. Whats up with him?
Chef Hatchet screwed
up his toy. I think hes having some sort of mental breakdown.
A girl with black,
spiked down hair and blue eyes stepped off the dock, sharpening a
pocket knife, Whose having a mental breakdown?
Lez, Teresa said,
gesturing towards him, Im Teresa and shes Lilly. Who are
Why do you care?
Because we want to
get to know you better.
The girl smirked,
seeming to find that amusing. She opened and closed the pocket knife
several times with her thumb, obviously having used it before, Im
Sapphire. Lez finally came over.
Can any of you fix
this? He asked.
Teresa took the device
and carefully turned it over a few times, I normally work on cars,
but I guess its worth a try. She messed with it for a moment.
Here, let me see,
Sapphire said. She tweaked some wires, thrust it at Lez and scampered
to the other side of the dock.
What are you-
BOOM!!!!! The dock shook as the game-boy exploded in
Lezs hands, sending him, Teresa and Lilly toppling into the lake.
Sapphire laughed hysterically.
Oh man, that was
hilarious! I cant believe you actually fell for that! Sapphire
yelled down to them.
Teresa wiped her face
and spit out some of the disgusting lake water, Chris! Arent
you going to help us? Chris just shook his head and said to the
camera, I love this show. As the water-logged teens yelled at
Sapphire the next contestant came in. It was a boy with shaggy dark
brown hair and blue eyes who somehow managed to get on the dock and
avoid Sapphire who was trying to trip him, all while reading a book.
A little help here,
please?! Lez shouted.
The boy reluctantly set
the book down. He waived to the others, Uh, hi. Im Benny, not
that anyone really cares right now.
Sapphire introduced herself.
So Ive gathered
from all the screaming, He pulled Lilly up onto the dock then
helped Teresa and Lez. Benny smiled to himself then decided to stand
back and watch the fire burn.
Are you nuts,
Sapphire? You could have killed us! Lilly ranted.
So? Sapphire was
Lilly clenched her
fists, about ready to kill Sapphire, So?! Whats
that supposed to mean?
Benny laughed, This
is almost as interesting as Jane Eyre. I should have brought
my video camera!
SHUT UP, BENNY!
Everyone yelled at him.
The conversation was
interrupted when the boat came back. Hey, Im Will said a guy
with silver colored hair. He surveyed the scene then said, I can
tell from the looks of things that theres been some sick pranking
going on here. May I ask who the mastermind behind it is?
Lez glared at Will, It
was Sapphire, and it wasnt just a prank. She nearly got us
Will nodded, seeming to
be calculating something in his head, It could have been executed
a little better, but you get points for not falling into the water
yourself. Id give it an 8.
Sapphire turned to
Will, Whats your defect?
Sapphire rolled her
eyes, Yeah. Weve all got em. Lilly and her all around
preppy-ness, Teresa and her car obsession, Lez has, er, had
his video game thingy, and Benny is, she glanced over at Benny to
find him reading again, book crazy. Typical. And me, she
grinned deviously, you dont even wanna know what Ive done.
Well, for your
Whatever. I dont
have a defect. He announced proudly. Then he involuntarily jerked
his shoulder twice, wincing when his neck cracked a bit. He cursed
under his breath.
Sapphire smirked, No
defect, huh? Right, Twitch.
The next camper stepped
off the broken-down boat. Awesome. Summer camp.
This is Myri,
Where have you been
this entire time? Benny demanded of the host.
Enjoying the benefits of not being obligated to care.
Teresa introduced Myri
to everyone Wow, Myri said, checking over what she could see of
Wawanakwa, This place is so she struggled to find the right
words to describe it, settling on, unique. She straightened her
denim capris, Teresa? Why are you, Lilianna, and Lez dripping
A guy with black hair
and wearing all black came next. Myri jumped up and down excitedly
when he walked onto the dock. Oh my gosh its a real live emo
person!!! Ive never seen an emo person. Whats it like to be so
Im not emo. He
said. He checked himself over, Do I look emo? he asked the
Not really, Benny
answered slowly, then admitted, Well, maybe just a little. Whats
your name, emo-boy?
Shane, he put his
face in his hands, and Im not emo. Im dark and mysterious.
this, No. Definitely emo.
Im not emo! he
insisted, Do emo people yell or show emotion? I dont think so.
So stop calling me that.
Ugh! Shane looked
at the camera man, are you taping? the camera guy nodded,
Good. This is to my sister back home. Vianna, if youre
watching, please come and get me! Id always thought that we
got along pretty well compared to most siblings. I didnt know you
secretly had plans to send me to some stupid game show on some stupid
island to die with a bunch of crazy people!
Theyre not crazy.
Danny hasnt gotten here yet. That squirrel is nuts! Chris
Shane looked back at
the camera, If I survive, you are so dead, Vianna.
A yell was heard from
overhead, Wawanakwa, here I come!
Who is that?
That would be
Danny, Chris said, and then shouted up to Danny, Land down
here! A guy, also wearing all black, landed on the dock from about
a thousand feet in the air. He unstrapped the parachute and let it
fall into the lake. Let me guess, Danny said, This isnt a
resort. Its a disgusting summer camp where well have to compete
in challenges to keep from being eliminated, right?
You saw the first
season didnt you? Lez asked.
sighed, It was pretty boring. I thought Id liven up the show a
bit. The only remotely interesting character was Izzy.
Lilly argued, Are
you kidding? Duncan and Courtney were awesome! What do you think,
My name is Shane and
Im NOT EMO!!! He grabbed Lilianna by the shoulders and shook
her, Cant you get it through your thick skull?
Im emo, Danny
Lilly looked him over
once and wrinkled her nose, No youre not.
Yeah, I am.
No, youre not. If
you were you wouldnt be arguing with me. Cuz emo people dont
care about anything
Danny was at a loss for
words, Okay, first of all, thats totally not true, and second,
Shanes been arguing with you, and you still think hes emo.
Myri stepped between
the two, Does anyone honestly care? I mean, what is emo anyway?
Isnt it some kind of bird? she asked.
Thats an emu.
Not helping, Benny,
the group turned to see a blonde girl with blue eyes step off the
boat. She seemed pleased enough until she noticed Dannys discarded
parachute. Who did that? Which one of you is a a nature
killer?! Everyone pointed to Danny who muttered, gee, thanks
guys, and smiled sheepishly. The girl glared at him, then knelt
down and started pulling on the material.
You know, Chris
said, as amusing as this is, its not being helpful at all. This
lake is so polluted, that nothing has been living in it for years.
Youre Lauren, right.
Lauren nodded, but
ignored the part about how her efforts were being wasted. Hey,
Nature Killer, she said to Danny, mind helping? This isnt as
easy as it looks. Danny sighed and helped Lauren pull his
parachute up onto the dock. Thanks, she said when they were
Aw great, a tree
hugger. Sapphire said.
Lauren clenched her
fists and walked right up to Sapphire, You got a problem with
So what if I do?
I hate to be the one
to bring this up, Benny said, But do we really have to have
injuries so soon? The challenges havent even started yet.
Stay outta this!
They yelled at him.
Confession Cam (the
Benny: This just
isnt my day.
Lauren: Bennys so
cute when hes being yelled at. (pause) Did I just say that out
Danny: I dont
know about this Lauren chick. She seems kinda I dont know,
insane. But not in a good way. (takes out large packet of fire-works)
And Im an expert on insanity!
really been getting on my nerves. Weve been her less than a half
an hour and already shes acting like she owns the place. Im
just glad that someones standing up to her.
Sapphire: Freaks. I
am so going to win this.
Will: (snickers) Cat
fight! (starts laughing hysterically)
And now Lauren has
the upper hand; ouch that has to hurt, Sapphire. But wait, Sapphires
getting up. Ooo, she just head butted Lauren! Will Lauren take the
plunge into the lake? Maybe probably no! That was an amazing
save by Benny Callaghan! (A/N: for those of you who didnt
get that last part, Lauren and Sapphire were fighting, and Lauren
nearly fell into the lake but was saved when Benny caught her)
We could do without
the narration, Will, Lez said, obviously annoyed.
Too bad, Will
shouted, Anyway, Lauren just punched Sapphire, and Sapphire came
back with a kick to the shin. Uh-oh, now Dannys coming over. Oh,
crud, he has a metal pipe! Hes lifting it up and- Thud.
You just knocked out
Will! Lez exclaimed, Thank you!
Danny shrugged, The
kid was getting on my nerves.
Uh, hello? an
unfamiliar male voice was heard, but no one paid the speaker any
attention. Suddenly, everyone stopped and stared at him. There were
whispers and giggles. Hi Im Mark. Am I at the right place?
The last part was directed towards Chris.
Wow, the dude is
normal. Benny whispered.
Mark looked at the
others, confused. Sapphire and Lauren, who had remained in their
fight positions ever since Mark had gotten there, slowly relaxed
their grip on each other to stare at the islands newest arrival,
Sure. I guess Im normal. Why? And how did you know?
The whole group (except
Will, of course) gasped all at once. He actually admits it!
Lilly said, And how do we know? Its easy to pick out a normy.
Theyre always the same.
Am I missing
something here? Mark wondered.
Uh, yeah! Myri
informed him, Youre not going to last two seconds on this
And why not?
NORMAL! She yelled, Sheesh, cant you take a hint?
Lez sighed, Let me
explain something to you. The only way youre going to get anywhere
on this island is if youre at least a little bit insane. The
contestants last year; were they youre Mary Sues or Marty Stues?
No way. Not one of them was normal. And the winner, Owen, was the
furthest from normal on the whole show. So, if I were you, Id pack
my bags right now and leave. But, man, am I glad Im not you!
What do you mean? I
can be just as insane as anyone here, Mark insisted.
I dont know,
Sapphire wiped some blood off of her face, Danny here has set the
bar pretty high.
Watch this, Danny
jumped off the dock into the murky waters below.
insane, Mark argued.
Yeah it is, Chris
interjected, that water is nasty!
We know, Teresa,
Lilly and Lez said in unison.
Mark crossed his arms
over his chest. He peered into the lake, It does look pretty
disgusting but I can do it! He prepared to jump, but chickened
out at the last second. All right, fine! Im not insane like the
rest of you and I dont want to be either.
Lez helped Danny out of
the water, You just dug your own grave, Mark, Danny said
A girl with curly
blonde hair and blue eyes was next. She introduced herself as Nikki.
Then she stopped dead in her tracks. Dont move, she said so
softly that they could barely hear her.
I SAID DONT
MOVE! The other campers obeyed nervously. Nikki pulled a charcoal
pencil and some paper out of her bag. She sketched quickly and within
two minutes announced that she was finished. The others gathered
around her work. It was a drawing of everyone there, except herself,
in the exact positions that theyd been in when shed drawn it.
Myri said, Wow, this
is really good. You drew everyone so well, and in so little time.
Nikki took a deep
breath and said more slowly, I talk really fast sometimes when Im
nervous so I draw fast too, then she added, Sorry. By the way,
whats wrong with him? She pointed to Will, who was still
unconscious, then noticed Danny still wielding the metal pipe, Oh,
Danny smiled nervously,
attempting to hide the crowbar behind his back so as not to look even
weirder than he already did, and waived to her, H-h-hi. Im uh
N-nikki, I think. No, Im Danny! Youre Nikki! Ugh!
Nikki?! What was that? And Ive never
stuttered in my entire life. I cant like her; Im a lone wolf.
Guys like me dont have girlfriends. Its like against the laws
of nature or something.
Nikki: Whats up
with that Danny guy? I think he might be one of those special
needs kids. Oh, there was this one time when my uncle thought that
I had epilepsy. Yeah, he thought I was having a seizure, but I was
actually just chocking on peanut butter!
Sapphire: That is so
messed up its not even funny. Then again, hes a freak, shes
an even bigger freak, they make a lovely couple.
Myri: I think its
kinda cute. In a strange sort of way.
Mark: What does he
mean Youve dug your own grave? That comment is dark, creepy,
and threatening all at the same time.
Danny chuckled, Uh,
momentary confusion I guess. Nikki nodded in a way that made it
clear that she didnt believe it for a second, but that she also
didnt know what he did mean.
started to back away slowly, motioning for him not to come any
closer. Some of the other campers giggled at that, which just made
Nikki more nervous. Finally, when she couldnt take it any more,
Nikki started yelling at everyone so fast that no one could
What? Myri asked
when she was done.
Nikki looked like she
was about ready to kill someone but Danny spoke up, Actually, most
of what Nikki said you guys probably dont want to hear, but
loosely interpreted, she wanted to know what inside joke she was
Unnoticed, Will sat up
and rubbed his head, which still hurt from when Danny whacked him
with that stupid crowbar. If I ever find the guy who gave that
freak a weapon He saw that the other campers were being yelled
at by some chick with an attitude. Perfect. He quietly got up and
prepared to initiate Operation Welcome to Wawanakwa.
Nikki was about to
respond to Dannys comment but was cut off when the next camper
Hey, he said,
Everyone chorused Hi
Jake, as if they were in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
Jake backed up a bit
watching everyone stare at him, There must be like 7 people left
to arrive, he commented.
said, there are only 14 of you. 1 person left.
He shrugged, Wow,
you guys are quiet.
admitted, Its usually much more wild around here.
The boat pulled up
again, and a girl stepped out. Jake smirked and leaned against the
boat, Sup? Is it hot out here or is it just you?
The others groaned,
Thats awful! Im not even that bad! Lez said.
The girl put her hands
on her hips, amused. Im Bella. And you would be?
the boat started to pull away, with Jake holding on. The boat stopped
for a moment when the engine stalled. Well, Jake. Bella
retorted, I could push you into the water right now, or I could
keep you from falling in. Which will it be?
Sink him, sink him,
the campers chanted. She considered it carefully, grabbed the neck of
his shirt and thrust him back onto the dock.
Wow, thanks. He
She smiled, No
problem. But dont let it go to your head.
All right, campers,
Chris shouted, Well take a picture and then head down to the
fire pit. The campers struck poses, Say Wawanakwa.
So long, losers!
Will, standing in the grass, held up a remote and pressed the red
button. Before anyone could get away, the dock completely caved in on
itself. Chris and Chef started to laugh until the boat they were on
sunk as well. Will sighed, I love this show.
You all know the
drill. Teams, challenges, dock of shame, you can never come back
unless we say so, marshmallow eating bear, ect. Here are your teams:
Lilly, Jake, Nikki, Mark, Myri, Danny, and Bella. You are the Killer
Unicorns. The rest of you, Teresa, Leslie, Sapphire, Shane, Benny,
Will, and Lauren. You are the Screaming Yetti.
Shane slowly raised his
hand, Uh, yeah, two questions. One, whats a Yetti? And two, are
the cabin arrangements the same as last season?
disappeared for a split second, You know what, I dont know what
a Yetti is. And, about the cabins, last year, we had four of them:
Bass guys, Bass girls, Gopher guys, and Gopher girls. This year,
thanks to budget cuts we had to rent out two of the cabins to a band
of Japanese yodelers. So now theyre co-ed. Yettis in one, Unicorns
in the other. But, if I were you-
Excuse me, Benny
interrupted, But why dont we just have guys in one and girls in
the- Will clamped a hand over Bennys mouth.
FOR THE LAST TIME,
SHUT UP BENNY! The campers yelled at him.
Benny: You know
what? Maybe I should just stop talking! Thats it; Im not going
to say another word. I am taking a vow of silence. Youre not going
to hear anything more from me so enjoy this while you can people
because (sighs) who am I kidding-
All: (outside) No
Benny: Great. So,
bye TDI watchers cuz I wont even make it past the first challenge!
barked, I wouldnt want the cabin closest to the yodelers. They
like to practice at night. From Midnight to Five every morning, even
holidays. First team to get all their members into the old Bass guys
cabin gets it!
It was a mad dash to
the cabin complete with kicking, punching, hair pulling, cheap tricks
and screaming; lots and lots of screaming.
Move your fat butt
out of the way!
Who are you calling
Take this! And
Hey, stop, Im on
Sapphire, when we
get our stuff set up, can I draw your bloody face? It looks so cool.
Let me think about
Finally when it was
over, Congratulations to the Screaming Yetti. You are officially
sharing campground space with our resident yodelers.
Sapphire hissed, We were all fighting over who got to be next to
the yodelers when we thought we were fighting to get away from them?
I hate you, Chris.
Thank you. Just to
let you all know, since there were so many lawsuits last season the
waivers your parents signed say that if you get injured during this
show, its not the responsibility of me, Chef or the producers of
TDI. But we are still bound by law to keep the infirmary. With that
said, Unicorns, head to the old Bass girls cabin and Ill see
everyone at the campfire pit in half an hour for your first
Wow, that was really
long. Sorry its taken me so long to post. The next chapter will be
up sooner. Also, I know I added some character traits to a few of you
that werent in the application (Nikkis super fast speech,
Liliannas obsession with emoism, Dannys stuttering when hes
around Nikki). If you would rather I take out these added personality
quirks, I will. Just let me know. And let me know if you think your
character was too OOC, and Ill try to fix it. Bye!