Lol, this chapter was soooo fun to write!
Lauren: You wanna know who really annoys me?
Sapphire: Guess who the most irritating person on the island is!
Lauren: Its that Duncan wannabee, Sapphire.
Sapphire: Its the Bridgette-gone-insane, Lauren.
Lauren: She is the meanest-
Sapphire: Most obnoxious-
Lauren: Most violent-
Both: Person Ive ever met!
Sapphire: I mean Im all for saving the environment, but this is just nuts. She nearly had a heart attack when I tried to use hair-spray this morning. She said it was harmful to the ozone layer.
Lauren: And youll never believe what she said next: Go save the polar bears eco-Barbie! What the heck? I do not look like a Barbie doll!
Sapphire: So then she told me to go be emo somewhere else and jump off the cliff while Im at it. Im not emo! Thats Shanes thing! … and apparently Dannys. I dont know somehow I cant picture it.
Lauren: And the way shes always sharpening her knife creeps me out. Is she gonna try to stab me in my sleep or something?
Sapphire: And I find it kinda hypocritical that she cares so much about the environment, yet still travels in cars, and uses toasters and stuff. If she really cared, shed go Amish.
Lauren: You know what?
Sapphire: I wouldnt be surprised if-
Lauren: The police were after her right now.
Sapphire: If she was actually a blonde.
Mark: (sighs) Yep. This one speaks for itself.
Screaming Yetti, you have the floor.
What do we do? Benny whispered in panic to the others, We could never actually agree on anything. All we have are a lot of blank pages!
Ill tell you what well do, Teresa said with authority. Improvise. Just play along and hope it ends soon.
Shane found this a good time to ask, So whos going up with Teresa?
Teresa smiled, grabbed his arm, and started dragging him up on stage, Glad you offered, Shane.
He gave her a sarcastic smile, Always happy to help! Teresa sighed. The things she had to put up with
Teresa turned to Chris, Chef Hatchet, and the Killer Unicorns in the audience, Today we will be performing a play about uh, some very deep, complicated matters that are above the comprehension skills of some of you here today. The last part was directed towards the Killer Unicorns. We would like to call itummm.
She turned to Shane for an answer. He shrugged helplessly, Uh, its too complicated to make a name for?
Exactly! Teresa agreed. Enjoy the show. She stepped back and said in what she hoped to be a narrator type voice, In the little town of Wickfield, the widower Dawson heard a knock at the door.
Shane stood motionless for a second, Oh, thats me! he realized. He dramatically cupped his hand to his ear as if listening to something, I hear a knock at the door. Whoever could it be? Teresa, who had scurried over to the other side of the stage to join the scene, entered. Oh, no, its Mildred! Teresa frowned and mouthed Mildred? He flashed a rare smile. You called me Dawson, he whispered.
She had no comeback for that one. Yes, it is me, Dawson! Mildred, your great-great-great-granddaughter.
Back from the hospital so soon? Shane asked, shocked, You know, after you had that awful breakdown when your fianc dumped you and went gay.
Teresa walked to the other side of him, stepping hard on his foot in the process, Yes, I can assure you he is very happy. And I have brought word back from England. He gave her a confused look. Because we are from England.
Then why do you have a Scottish accent?
Its not Scottish, its British, and your accent sounds Australian! Teresa composed herself and continued, I have word from my cousin Jeffrey that um
Shane gasped, No, it cant be!
What youre about to say is so horrible that you cant even say it, right?! Shane hinted.
Yes! Unspeakable! And this is
They both chorused, The end! And quickly took the opportunity to exit.
Oookaaayyy Chris wasnt exactly sure what to think of that little display. Killer Unicorns, think you can top that?
Jake hopped on stage, Mark close behind him. Absolutely! They looked like they knew what they were doing, which worried the Screaming Yetti greatly. This play, Jake started with a glance to the rival team, Actually has a name. The Death of They both shouted, A Rubber Chicken! Jake pulled out a rubber chicken, squeezed it till it squeaked in a shrill, high-pitched tone. They started singing the chicken dance song while doing the dance. In the middle of this, Jake accidentally dropped the chicken, and Mark tripped on it.
Hey, watch it! he picked up the unfortunate chicken. While still singing, he threw it at Jake who grabbed it and whacked Mark with it. Mark tried to pull it away, thus initiating a tug-of-war. Jake let go, Mark fell back. He jumped up and started chasing Jake around with it. That poor, poor chicken. Just when all seemed lost, the other unicorns shoved their appointed safety net, Nikki up onto the stage.
She cleared her throat. Both guys either ignored her or didnt notice she was there. She finally said, at a level just under a shout, Oh, Fernando, how could you?
They stopped their chicken fight. Mark tossed the chicken into the audience. It was caught by Will who decided to keep it and name it George. Weve been married for 13 years, and I now find out youve been having an affair with my, uh, uncle!
Jake figured that after the chicken incident, hed better catch on fast or he might be sent home. Yes, Terra! I did have an affair with your, uh uncle? Mark shrugged does that make me the uncle? But only after I found out about how you stabbed Biff!
Mark whispered, Wait, am I Biff?
Jake shook his head, No, Biff was stabbed. By Terra! Everyone gasped. Talk about a last reaction, Jake (aka, Fernando) muttered.
Nikki (aka, Terra) was horrified, But it was only because of my love for you! Since Biff is the father of youre late ex-wife whose twin sister was just discovered to be alive and not lost at sea like wed thought!
Mark interjected, I have something to tell you both! I have six months to live. Gasp! In fact- he started pretending to choke and die.
I thought you had six months? Nikki asked.
Oh, did I say six months? Make that six seconds. Mark had his agonizing-death scene, completed with his proclamation of I see the light! Then, finally, it was over.
Chris stood up, Okay, you have me. They were both awful. The complicated plot and the thing with the chicken-
His name is George, Will interjected proudly.
-Whatever. Its a tie of loosers. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Anyone can be sent home.
Lilly: Shane. Hes one of their stronger players.
Shane: Jake. I cant afford to underestimate anyone.
Lauren: As much as I would love to vote off Sapphire I vote Nikki.
Nikki: Will. Yep, definitely.
Will: I vote Lilly. (holds up chicken) And so does George.
Benny: Mark. The chicken routine was disturbing.
Mark: Teresa. Anything mechanics-related and were done for with her on their team.
Teresa: Myri. Shes their leader and strategist right now. They might not do so well without her.
Sapphire: Danny. I owe you no explanations.
Lez: Hey, wouldnt it be funny if I was the only person that no one voted for? And wouldnt it also be funny if my vote was the deciding one? Yeah. Lilly. Yep. Thats who I vote for. Uh-huh. (awkward pause) Okay, how do you turn this thing off? (static)
And in the end it was Lilly who walked the dock of shame even though she actually didnt do anything elimination worthy. But these things happen. So, Ill see you next time on Total. Drama. Island!
I hope it wasnt too OOC. Even though Mark is supposed to be somewhat normal I thought he should have his crazy moments too. The chicken thing is something that actually happened at a school talent show a long time ago. I still get flashbacks. And the confession cam war in the beginning was just something I had been thinking about for a while. All questions, comments, and concerns can be directed to me through reviews or PMs. Just click the pretty blue button at the bottom of the page.